Living With Aging Parents: Should You Move In Together?

Intergenerational Living: Can Adult Children Live With Aging Parents?

If you’re wondering whether you should move in with an aging parent—or have them move in with you—you’re not alone. In the U.S., an estimated 63 million people are family caregivers, and nearly 1 in 4 adults has caregiving responsibilities that often overlap with work and raising kids. 

At the same time, most older adults say they want to age in place and stay in their own homes as long as possible. Intergenerational living can feel like the natural answer—but it’s also a big decision.

This guide is for adult children, sandwich-generation caregivers, and families thinking about moving in with aging parents or having them move in with you. This guide walks through what co-living really looks like, questions to ask before you say “yes,” and practical support options (including in-home care services) that can make intergenerational living more sustainable for everyone. 

Why So Many Families Are Considering Moving In With Aging Parents

Several trends are pushing families toward intergenerational living:

• More family caregivers than ever. A recent national report found the number of caregivers has grown sharply over the last decade, with many providing high-intensity care for loved ones with complex needs.
• Most caregivers are unpaid. Many adult children provide care on top of full-time jobs and parenting, often without pay. (From AARP)
• Aging in place is a top priority. Research shows over 75% of older adults would prefer to remain in their current homes rather than move to a facility.

For some families, moving in together feels like a way to honor these wishes, save on housing or care costs, and stay closely connected. But intergenerational living also means you’re not just sharing a roof—you’re taking on a caregiving role, whether you planned to or not.

What Does “Intergenerational Living” Really Mean for Family Caregivers?

Intergenerational living, in plain English

In this article, Intergenerational living—sometimes called multigenerational living or simply “living with aging parents”—means:

An adult child (or children) and an aging parent sharing a home or property, with the adult child providing ongoing support.

In many cases, that support qualifies you as a family caregiver—even if you don’t use that word. Government agencies and nonprofits use “family caregiver” to describe an unpaid person who helps with another adult’s daily activities, health appointments, and safety. 

Typical caregiving tasks when you live together

When you share a home, it’s common to gradually take on:

• Personal care (ADLs) – Bathing, dressing, toileting, grooming, help getting in/out of bed.
  • If these tasks are already hard to manage, personal in-home care can step in to support your parent(s) while protecting your relationship. 
• Household and “life management” (IADLs) – Meal preparation, laundry, light housekeeping, rides to appointments, grocery shopping, managing bills and mail.
  • ComForCare’s Care Kitchen program even focuses on nutrition and meal support for older adults.
• Health coordination – Tracking medications, managing refills, scheduling and attending appointments, communicating with doctors.
• Supervision and companionship – Especially important if your parent has memory loss, fall risk, or periods of confusion.

AARP research shows most caregivers provide at least 20 hours of care per week—the equivalent of an unpaid part-time job. When you live together, it can easily creep well beyond that.

Is Moving In With Your Aging Parent the Right Choice? Key Questions to Ask

Before you make a big move, it helps to pause and look at the whole picture: safety, space, finances, and feelings.

1. Safety and care needs

Ask yourself:

• Can my parent(s) safely bathe, dress, and use the bathroom without help?
• Are there mobility issues (stairs, uneven steps, risk of falls)?
• Are there signs of memory loss or dementia: getting lost, repeating questions, forgetting to turn off the stove, mixing up medications?

If you’re noticing early dementia or safety concerns, bringing your parent(s) to live with you may still be possible—but it usually works best with support from specialized dementia home care services. 

2. Space, privacy, and family dynamics

• Will your parent(s) have a bedroom and bathroom they can use safely?
• How will this change your partner’s, kids’, or roommates’ routines?
• Are there longstanding family tensions you’ll now be living with 24/7?

It can help to map out a daily “before and after” on paper: mornings, mealtimes, evenings, weekends. Where are the stress points likely to show up?

3. Work and financial reality

Balancing a job and caregiving is one of the hardest parts of this decision. About 61% of family caregivers are working while they provide care. Many report struggling to keep up with both responsibilities. 

Ask:

• How many hours of hands-on help does my parent really need each day?
• Can I adjust my work hours, or will this put my job at risk?
• Could I use job-protected leave—like the federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)—during a crisis or transition? (More on this below.)
  

Support Options When You Live With Your Parent(s): You Don’t Have to Do It All Without In-Home Care

Intergenerational living doesn’t have to mean you’re “on” 24/7. The strongest arrangements combine family caregiving with outside support.

In-home care services and respite

Bringing in a professional caregiver—even for a few hours a week—can lighten the load dramatically.

A caregiver from a service like ComForCare can help with:

• Personal care (bathing, dressing, toileting)
• Mobility and safe transfers
• Meal preparation and nutrition support through programs like Care Kitchen 
• Medication reminders and supervision
• Companionship and meaningful activities

Many families start with respite and short-term care—for example, a few hours a week so the adult child can rest, run errands, or have time with their own children. 

If your parent needs supervision around the clock (for example, due to dementia wandering or frequent nighttime falls), 24-hour home care services can provide continuous support, while you still live together as a family. 

Adult day programs, senior centers, and community services

Intergenerational living doesn’t mean your parent has to stay home all day.

• Adult day programs offer social activities, meals, and supervision during the day while you work.
• Senior centers often provide exercise classes, educational programs, social time, and sometimes transportation.

A great place to start is your local Area Agency on Aging or the national Eldercare Locator, which connects families with local services like meals, transportation, and caregiver support. 

Sharing care with siblings and extended family

Even if you’re the one opening your home, you don’t have to carry everything alone.

• Hold a family meeting (virtual if needed) to clarify tasks: finances, appointments, pharmacy runs, tech setup, house maintenance, etc.
• Out-of-town siblings can manage bills, schedule telehealth visits, or contribute financially to in-home care services, even if they can’t provide hands-on care.
  

Technology tools in an intergenerational home

Simple technology can make co-living safer and less stressful:

• Medication reminder apps or automatic dispensers
• Fall detection devices and smart home sensors
• Video doorbells and stove safety devices
• Shared digital calendars for appointments and care schedules

Think of tech as another “helper” in the home—not a replacement for people, but a way to give everyone more peace of mind.

Financial and Workplace Support for Live-In Family Caregivers

You may be wondering: Can I get paid to care for my parent(s)? In some cases, yes—but the details depend on where you live and your parent’s benefits.

Medicaid and state programs

Some states offer Medicaid Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) or “self-directed” programs that allow older adults to use Medicaid dollars to pay a trusted family member or friend for care. 

• Eligibility, hourly rates, and whether adult children can be paid vary widely by state.
• A good starting point:
  • Your state’s Medicaid website: https://medicaiddirectors.org/who-we-are/medicaid-directors/ 
  • Your local Area Agency on Aging or Eldercare Locator (https://eldercare.acl.gov)

Veterans Affairs programs for family caregivers

If your parent is a veteran, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs offers several programs, including the Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC) for eligible veterans and their family caregivers. Benefits can include a monthly stipend, caregiver training, and access to health insurance for some primary caregivers. 

To explore your options, you can:

• Visit the VA’s caregiver support page: https://www.caregiver.va.gov/ 
• Learn how in-home care for veterans can complement VA benefits and support your family at home.
  

Paid family leave and FMLA

At the federal level, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) gives eligible employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave to care for a parent with a serious health condition. It doesn’t replace your income, but it can protect your job during an intense caregiving period. 

Some states go further and offer paid family leave, which may replace a portion of your wages for a limited time while you care for a parent.

To get accurate information:

• Review the Department of Labor’s caregiver page:
  https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla/family-caregiver 
• Search “[your state] paid family leave caregiving” for local rules.
  

Long-term care insurance and personal care agreements

If your parent has long-term care insurance (LTCI), the policy may cover in-home care and, sometimes, care provided by family members. 

Some families also create a personal care agreement—a written contract where a parent pays an adult child for caregiving. It’s crucial to work with an elder law attorney and tax professional to do this correctly, especially if Medicaid might be needed later. 

For more ideas, ComForCare’s blog “8 Ways to Pay for In-Home Care” outlines common payment strategies families use. 

Protecting Your Own Health as a Live-In Family Caregiver

Caregiving can be deeply meaningful—and incredibly draining. Studies show caregivers face higher risks for stress, depression, and health problems, especially when they’re juggling work and family. 

Signs of caregiver stress and burnout

You may be approaching burnout if you notice:

• Constant fatigue or trouble sleeping
• Feeling irritable, sad, or numb
• Getting sick more often
• Withdrawing from friends and hobbies
• Feeling like you’re always “on duty” and never off
  

Building your caregiver toolbox

Consider:

• Education and skills training – Dementia care workshops, fall prevention programs, or online courses can make everyday care safer and easier.
• Support groups – Local or online groups connect you with others in similar situations.
• Respite care – Scheduling respite and short-term home care gives you real time off while your loved one is still supported at home.

Most importantly, remember that rest is not a luxury—it’s part of your caregiving plan. Taking breaks helps you stay the loving son or daughter you want to be.

When Co-Living Is No Longer Safe—or Never Was the Right Fit

Sometimes, even with your best efforts, intergenerational living isn’t sustainable.

Red flags that more support is needed

Watch for:

• Frequent falls, wandering, or unsafe behaviors (like leaving the stove on)
• Aggression or severe confusion linked to dementia
• Your own health declining due to stress and exhaustion
• Major conflict or distress among family members in the home
  

At this point, families may:

• Increase in-home care services for more hours or overnight support
• Add adult day programs or respite stays
• Explore senior living or memory care communities—with family still very involved

Whatever you decide, you haven’t failed. You’re responding to new information and doing what’s safest for everyone.

How ComForCare Supports Intergenerational Families

If you’re living with—or thinking about living with—an aging parent, ComForCare can be part of your support team, not a replacement for you.

Across the U.S., our in-home care services include: 

• Personal in-home care – Help with bathing, dressing, toileting, and mobility so you’re not doing all the hands-on care alone.
  • Learn more: Personal In-Home Care Home Care Services 
• Dementia-wise support – Specialized dementia home care services for families coping with memory loss or behavioral changes.
• Respite and short-term care – Flexible respite visits so you can rest, work, or attend to your own family.
• Care Kitchen nutrition support – Help with meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking through Care Kitchen, designed for older adults’ nutrition needs.
• Support for veterans – Tailored in-home care for veterans that can complement VA programs and family caregiving.

If you’re considering intergenerational living—or already in it and feeling stretched—talking with a local team can help you see what support could look like in your home.

Want to Get Started?
Ready to see what support could look like in your home? Use our Find a Location tool to connect with a local ComForCare office and talk through in-home care options for your family.

Frequently Asked Questions About Living With Aging Parents

Can I get paid to care for my parent(s) if we live together?

In some cases, yes. Depending on your state and your parent’s benefits, you may be able to receive payment through:

• Medicaid home and community-based services
• Certain VA caregiver or home care programs for eligible veterans
• Long-term care insurance policies
• Personal care agreements

For a good overview, see:

• USA.gov: “Get paid as a caregiver for a family member”
• NCOA: “Five Ways Family Caregivers Can Get Paid”

Because rules vary so much, it’s wise to talk with your local Area Agency on Aging or a benefits counselor.

Does FMLA cover time off to care for an aging parent?

Yes—if you’re an eligible employee, the federal Family and Medical Leave Act allows up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave to care for a parent with a serious health condition. 

State laws may offer paid leave or additional protections, so check your state’s website as well.

How do I know if moving in with my parent(s) is the right decision?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It can help to:

• Walk through the safety, space, and work questions in this article
• Talk honestly with your parent, partner, and siblings
• Consult with a care manager or home care provider about what support you’ll realistically need

Reading ComForCare’s article “How to Talk With Your Aging Parents About Their Long-Term Care” can also help you prepare for these conversations. 

What if my parent doesn’t want to move in—but clearly needs more help?

If your parent wants to remain in their own home, you might:

• Start with a few hours a week of in-home care services to support safety and independence
• Involve a neutral third party (doctor, social worker, or care manager) to talk about risks and options
• Explore home modifications and fall-prevention strategies so they can age in place more safely

Can intergenerational living work if I still have kids at home?

Yes—but it can be challenging. Research from AARP suggests about 29% of caregivers are in the “sandwich generation,” caring for both children and older adults. 

Intergenerational living tends to work best when:

• Responsibilities are shared among adults
• Outside help—like respite care or 24-hour home care—is in place before burnout happens
• There is ongoing, honest communication about what’s working and what isn’t

If you’re weighing intergenerational living right now, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. A conversation with your local ComForCare team can help you explore what’s possible and design a support plan that works for everyone under your roof.