The “Red Flags” Checklist: What You Missed During the Holidays

The holidays are finally over. You’ve returned home, unpacked the bags, and settled back into your routine. But for many adult children, something feels unsettled.

During your visit with Mom and Dad, you might have noticed things you don’t see during weekly phone calls. Maybe the house wasn’t as tidy as usual, or Dad seemed a little more confused than you remember. It is easy to brush these moments off in the chaos of the season, but that nagging feeling in your gut is worth listening to.

If you are feeling worried, guilty, or unsure, you aren’t alone. This time of year is often a reality check for families. To help you sort through your observations, we’ve put together this “Red Flags” checklist. It’s designed to help you distinguish between normal aging and the signs that your loved one might need a little extra support to stay safe and independent at home.

Pro-Tip: Not Sure What Type of Care Mom Needs? Many families struggle to distinguish between Home Care (personal support and companionship) and Home Health (medical care). If you are unsure which one your loved one qualifies for, read our guide on Home Health Care vs. In-Home Care to understand the difference.

1. The Physical Appearance Checklist

Focus: Visible changes in your loved one’s health and grooming.

When you see someone every day, gradual changes are hard to spot. But after months apart, physical decline can be startling. Did you notice any of the following?

• Significant Weight Fluctuations: Did Mom look frail or lose weight unexpectedly? This can be a sign of malnutrition, dental issues, or simply the inability to cook for herself anymore. Conversely, rapid weight gain can indicate poor diet choices or fluid retention issues.
• Changes in Personal Hygiene: Unkempt hair, body odor, or wearing the same clothes for several days in a row are major red flags. Often, seniors stop bathing regularly because they are afraid of slipping in the shower. Our Personal Care services can help them maintain dignity and hygiene safely.
• Unexplained Bruising: Did you spot bruises they couldn’t explain? This is often a sign of unreported falls or mobility struggles.
  • How We Help: Falls are not a normal part of aging. Our Gaitway Fall Prevention program helps identify fall risks and provides interventions to improve safety and mobility.

2. The Home Environment Checklist

Focus: The state of the house often reflects the state of health.

Your parents’ home has always been their sanctuary. If it suddenly feels chaotic or neglected, it may be because the daily tasks of home maintenance have become unmanageable physically or cognitively.

• The Kitchen Test: Did you find expired food in the fridge, empty cupboards, or pots and pans with scorch marks? These are signs that meal preparation has become difficult or dangerous.
  • How We Help: Through our Care Kitchen program, caregivers can handle meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking, ensuring your loved ones eat delicious, nutritious meals that align with dietary restrictions.
• The “Clutter” Factor: Look for stacks of unopened mail (which can signal financial confusion), laundry piling up, or general neglect like dusty shelves and dirty floors.
  • How We Help: We offer Light Housekeeping services to assist with vacuuming, laundry, and dusting, ensuring the home remains a clean, organized, and safe environment.

3. The Cognitive & Emotional Checklist

Focus: Changes in personality, memory, and mood.

It is normal for energy levels to dip as we age, but significant shifts in personality or engagement are different.

• Social Withdrawal: Did Dad refuse to attend the holiday party he usually loves? Isolation can be a symptom of depression or a coping mechanism for hearing loss or memory trouble.
• Confusion vs. Forgetfulness: Losing keys is normal. Getting lost in familiar places, forgetting names of close family members, or losing track of time and place are potential warning signs of dementia.
• Mood Swings: Did you notice increased agitation, anxiety, or apathy?
  • How We Help: Our DementiaWise® program creates better days for those living with dementia. Our caregivers are specially trained to use meaningful activities and compassionate strategies to manage behavioral changes and support retained abilities.

4. The “Hidden” Red Flags

Focus: Safety concerns that aren’t immediately obvious.

• Medication Management: Did you peek in the medicine cabinet? Full pill bottles that should be empty (or empty ones that should be full) indicate they aren’t taking critical medications correctly. Our caregivers can provide reliable medication reminders to keep them on track.
• Driving Concerns: Did you notice fresh dents or scratches on their car? Or perhaps they seemed anxious about driving at night or in traffic. This is a critical safety issue that needs to be addressed gently but firmly.

What to Do If You Checked Any of the Above Boxes

If you found yourself mentally checking off items on this list, don’t panic. These red flags don’t necessarily mean your loved one has to leave their home. In fact, it usually means the opposite: they just need the right support system to stay in their home safely.

Start the Conversation Approach your parents with curiosity, not accusations. Instead of saying, “You can’t take care of yourself,” try, “I noticed you seemed tired during the holidays. Would it help if someone came in a few times a week to handle the laundry and cooking so you can relax?”

Get a Professional Opinion (And Peace of Mind) Sometimes, parents are on their “best behavior” when family visits. A professional eye can spot hazards you might miss. At ComForCare, we offer a free in-home care assessment to walk through the home, assess safety risks, and build a personalized care plan.

We also know inviting someone into your parent’s home is a big step. That’s why we have a rigorous recruitment process that includes background checks and certification verification. We screen specifically for empathy and match caregivers based on experience and personality. You aren’t just getting help; you’re getting a vetted, trusted professional.

Ready to get back to just being their child?

Let us handle the scheduling, the vetting, and the logistics so you can stop being a case manager.

Find a ComForCare Location Near You to schedule your home safety evaluation today.