What to Do Before a Health Crisis Forces Your Hand

It’s natural to put off thinking about end-of-life or emergency care. It can feel uncomfortable — even disrespectful — to have these hard conversations with our loved ones. But if life takes an unexpected turn, this delay leaves us making the same complex, heavy decisions in a matter of moments.

Christopher Kunney knows this territory both professionally and personally. A healthcare technology strategist with nearly two decades advising care organizations, he has also faced two brain tumor diagnoses, supported his mother through stage four cancer, and helped his family make end-of-life decisions for his brother-in-law after a severe COVID illness. 

His advice to families is consistent across all of it: get oriented to the system before a crisis forces you to. In a recent episode of ComForConnections, he shared what that preparation actually looks like. 

Know what’s available before you need it

One of the most useful things a family can do is spend time understanding local care options while everyone is still relatively well. 

What home care services are available? What does a typical transition from hospital to home look like? What would need to change in a living situation if someone’s mobility decreased? 

These are the same questions people work through when planning for any significant life event.

Navigating unfamiliar systems can be a challenge

The healthcare system itself can make this preparation harder than it should be. Families often don’t encounter care coordinators, discharge planners, or home care providers until they’re already in the middle of a crisis. 

Under that kind of pressure, it’s easy to accept the first option presented rather than evaluate what’s actually the right fit. Familiarity with systems in advance means that when something does happen, decisions can be made from a position of knowledge rather than urgency.

Ask your care team direct questions

Healthcare professionals are working under significant time and resource constraints, and the families who come away with the most useful information are often the ones who ask for it specifically.

Families have both the right and the responsibility to ask their healthcare providers direct questions, such as:

• What are the options after discharge? 
• What does recovery typically look like for this condition? 
• What should we watch for at home, and what would bring someone back to the hospital?

If an answer is too general, ask a follow-up. If a care plan doesn’t make sense, say so. Christopher is equally straightforward about second opinions: getting one is a normal part of navigating serious medical decisions. The stakes are high enough that confirming a diagnosis or treatment approach is worth the time and effort.

Have the end-of-life conversation early

This is the part most families delay the longest. When Christopher’s brother-in-law was placed on a ventilator after a severe COVID illness and left in a vegetative state, the family was able to make a clear, collective decision because they already knew what he wanted. 

He had said it directly: if I’m on a ventilator and no longer have quality of life, don’t maintain my life. That prior conversation turned one of the hardest decisions a family can face into something they could make together, with confidence they were honoring his wishes. Without that conversation, families are left to guess, carrying that uncertainty long afterward. 

Christopher’s mother faced a different situation when she was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer. She told her family she had lived a good life and did not want chemotherapy. They redirected their focus to palliative and hospice care, and she reached that decision on her own terms. 

Both outcomes were made possible by the same thing: a conversation that happened before the moment of crisis arrived.

A few questions worth getting answered

These are good starting point questions for any family working through care planning:

• What home care or support services are available in your area?
• What does a typical hospital-to-home transition look like, and who coordinates it?
• What financial resources or benefits might help cover care costs?
• If a loved one’s mobility or cognition changed, what would need to change at home?
• Does everyone in the family know where key documents are — insurance, advance directives, emergency contacts?

Technology is a tool, not a plan

Remote monitoring devices, wearables, and telehealth platforms can give families and care teams earlier warning when something is changing. That earlier signal can be the difference between a manageable health event and a hospitalization. 

But technology works best when it’s connected to a care structure that’s already in place: people who know the patient, processes set up to respond, and a family that understands what the information means.

For families evaluating care technology, Christopher’s advice is to start with the problem, not the product. What specific issue are you trying to address? What would you do with the information a given tool provides, and who would act on it? 

Those questions don’t need to be answered alone. Home care professionals are well positioned to help families think through what tools make sense given a person’s health situation, living arrangement, and support network.

Start now instead of later

The families who navigate serious illness and care transitions most effectively are the ones who started the conversations and made the plans before urgency took over. That doesn’t mean having every answer. It means being willing to ask the questions early enough that the answers have room to matter.

Listen to Christopher Kunney’s full conversation with Tiffany Robinson on ComForConnections. Explore more caregiving resources at ComForCare.com.