When a Holiday Visit Feels Different

For many families, the holidays are the one time of year everyone is under the same roof. You hug your mom or dad, sit at the table, walk through the house—and suddenly you notice things you didn’t see (or couldn’t see) over FaceTime or quick phone calls:

• They seem unsteady getting up from the couch.
• The fridge is almost empty, or full of expired food.
• Bills are stacked on the counter.
• They repeat the same question several times.

You leave feeling grateful you saw them, but also worried: “Is this just normal aging—or is something else going on? And what do we do now?”

You’re not alone in that experience. Senior organizations and aging experts note that holiday visits often reveal “hidden struggles” with health, safety, and daily tasks that don’t show up in short conversations the rest of the year. (LiveWell Care Management+2Chapel Pointe+2)

This guide walks through what to look for, why these changes matter, and how non-medical home care can help your loved one stay safe and independent at home.

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Why Holidays Reveal New Signs of Aging

There are a few reasons holiday visits become a “reality check”:

• Less frequent in-person visits. Adult children who live out of town may not see parents for months. Changes that happened slowly across the year feel dramatic when viewed all at once.
• Older adults may downplay problems on the phone. Seniors are often reluctant to “be a burden,” so they minimize health or memory issues when talking with family.
• Daily routines are more visible. When you’re actually in the home, you see how they move, cook, take medications, drive, and navigate stairs—things you can’t really assess via video call.(nia.nih.gov+1)

Recognizing these changes early is important. It gives families time to add support, prevent accidents, and maintain independence instead of waiting for a crisis.

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Normal Aging vs. Red Flags

Some changes are expected with age—like needing more light to read or taking a little longer to recover from a busy day. The National Institute on Aging (NIA), however, points out that certain changes in memory, behavior, or daily functioning are signs that an older adult may need extra help at home. (nia.nih.gov)

Think less about age itself and more about function:

Can your loved one safely manage their day-to-day life—bathing, dressing, eating, taking medicines, moving around the home, and handling basic household tasks?

If the answer is “not really” or “not without help,” it may be time to take a closer look.

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Red Flags to Watch for During Holiday Visits

Below are specific warning signs experts say may indicate an older adult needs more support at home.

1. Changes in the Home Environment

When you walk in, the house often tells a story. NIA and other senior-care organizations suggest paying attention to:

• Stacks of unopened mail, late notices, or confusion with bills
• Spoiled or very limited food in the fridge or pantry
• Clutter, dirty dishes, or laundry piling up in ways that are not typical for that person
• Burn marks on cookware or the stove, which could indicate they’re forgetting about food on the burner
• Broken appliances or safety hazards (loose rugs, poor lighting) that haven’t been addressed

These can signal difficulty managing “instrumental activities of daily living” (IADLs) like cooking, housekeeping, and money management.

2. Physical Changes and Safety Risks

Subtle physical changes can have serious consequences if they’re not addressed.

Common red flags include:

• Noticeable weight loss or gain
• Shuffling gait, difficulty standing up, or holding onto furniture to move around
• Bruises or unexplained injuries, which may mean they’re falling or bumping into things
• Slower reaction time or difficulty getting in and out of the car

Falls are a huge concern: according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Council on Aging, about 14 million older adults—roughly 1 in 4 Americans age 65+—fall each year, and falls are the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries in this age group. (CDC+1)

Recognizing early balance or mobility changes during a holiday visit is one of the most powerful ways families can help prevent serious injuries.

3. Memory, Thinking, or Judgment Changes

Some forgetfulness can be normal. But organizations like NIA and A Place for Mom note that more serious issues include:

• Asking the same question repeatedly in a short time
• Getting lost in familiar places or confused about where they are
• Missing appointments or important dates
• Difficulty following a recipe or multi-step instructions that were once easy
• Poor judgment with money (unusual purchases, new “charity” charges, repeated subscriptions)

These may be early signs of cognitive impairment or dementia and should be discussed with a health care provider.

4. Emotional and Social Withdrawal

Holiday gatherings are also a good time to notice changes in mood or social engagement. Senior living and home-care organizations point out that

• Withdrawing from once-loved activities
• Avoiding friends, faith communities, or clubs
• Sitting alone during family events
• Increased irritability, sadness, or anxiety

can signal depression, loneliness, health problems, or cognitive decline. These changes are not just “normal aging” and deserve attention.

5. Trouble with Daily Self-Care

Difficulty with activities of daily living (ADLs)—basic tasks like bathing, dressing, eating, toileting, and moving around safely—is a key indicator that more help is needed. Senior-care agencies and geriatric organizations consistently emphasize watching for: (CICOA+2Aging Advocates CNY+2)

• Wearing the same clothes for days or visible decline in hygiene
• Strong body odor, unkempt hair, long nails, or skin issues
• Struggling to get in and out of the shower or on and off the toilet
• Confusion or mistakes with medications (skipping doses, double-dosing, or mixing pills)
• Trouble preparing meals or relying only on snacks or takeout

When ADLs or IADLs become hard, it’s usually not just a “preference” issue—it may be unsafe for your loved one to manage alone.

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What to Do If You Notice These Changes

1. Start with a Compassionate Conversation

Experts who work with older adults and families suggest treating this as a partnership, not a lecture. The Council on Aging recommends talking about what help your loved one might need to stay safe and independent, then working together to find resources)

You might say:

“I noticed you seem a little unsteady on the stairs. I want you to feel safe here. Would it be okay if we looked at some options to make things easier?”

or

“I see the mail is piling up—this would overwhelm me too. What would you think about having someone come a few days a week to help with things like this?”

2. Encourage a Medical Check-Up

Sudden changes in memory, balance, or mood can be related to medical issues, new medications, infections, or unmanaged chronic conditions. A visit with a primary care provider or geriatrician can help rule out reversible causes and provide documentation of the type of help needed.

3. Involve Siblings and Key Family Members

Share what you observed, using specific examples rather than general statements (“The fridge only had milk and ketchup,” vs. “The house was a mess”). This helps the family make decisions together instead of putting all the pressure on one person.

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When to Consider Non-Medical Home Care

It may be time to explore in-home help when:

• You’re seeing multiple red flags across physical, cognitive, and home-safety areas.
• Your loved one is having trouble with ADLs or IADLs—bathing, dressing, cooking, managing medications, or safely moving around the home.
• There have been falls or near-falls, or you’re worried they could happen. (CDC+1)
• You or another family member is starting to feel like a full-time caregiver on top of work, kids, and holiday responsibilities.

A UCHealth guide on aging parents notes that when an older adult can’t complete key tasks needed to live independently, it’s time to consider additional help—often starting in the home. (UCHealth)

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How ComForCare’s Non-Medical Home Care Can Help

Non-medical home care is designed to fill the gap between complete independence and medical or facility care. It focuses on safety, dignity, and quality of life at home.

Depending on your loved one’s needs, a ComForCare caregiver can help with:

• Personal care: bathing, dressing, grooming, toileting, and safe transfers
• Meal planning and preparation: making sure there is nutritious food in the home and that meals are eaten
• Medication reminders: helping your loved one remember when and how to take prescribed medications (without administering them)
• Light housekeeping and laundry: keeping the home safer and more comfortable
• Transportation and errands: rides to appointments, grocery shopping, pharmacy trips
• Companionship: conversation, games, walks, and social connection to reduce loneliness
• Fall-risk awareness: watching for hazards like loose rugs or poor lighting, and encouraging safe movement around the home

Because falls are so common and serious for older adults—1 in 4 Americans 65+ fall each year (National Council on Aging)—having another set of eyes in the home can make a meaningful difference.

Home care can also support family caregivers, who often experience high stress levels around the holidays. An AARP survey found that nearly 7 in 10 caregivers said caring for their loved one during the holidays was emotionally stressful, and many said they would welcome help with tasks and someone to talk to who understands. (AARP States+3AARP States+3MediaRoom+3)

Bringing in a trusted caregiver allows families to spend their time being family, not just managing tasks.

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Taking the Next Step

If this year’s holiday visit left you feeling uneasy about how your loved one is really doing at home, that feeling matters. You don’t have to wait for a crisis.

At ComForCare, we can:

• Talk with you about what you observed during your visit
• Help you sort through what may be “normal aging” versus more serious warning signs
• Provide a no-obligation free in-home assessment to look at safety, daily routines, and specific support needs
• Build a personalized care plan—from just a few hours a week to more comprehensive support

The goal is simple: to help your loved one stay in the place they call home—safely, comfortably, and with as much independence as possible—while giving your family peace of mind.

If you’re ready to talk about options or just want to ask questions, we’re here to listen.

ComForCare Home Care Scottsdale, our mission goes beyond day-to-day caregiving. We are here to be a partner in health, comfort, and quality of life. We are just a phone call or text away and are here to listen and help.

What is my loved one has declined more than just needing help in home?

If you or your loved one has been advised to consider either Palliative or Hospice care, it is important to understand the options available to you. ComForCare Home Care Scottsdale/Phoenix is also affiliated with Vital Palliative Care (www.vitalpalliative.com) and Royal Hospice Care (www.royalhospice.com/scottsdale).  This enables us to provide a Continuum of Care to support family and patient’s needs.  

There are many companies to choose from, but it is critically important to find a company that is ethical and truly puts quality patient care at the forefront.  Hospice Fraud is a real thing so make sure you do not feel pressured and understand all the benefits you and/or your loved one is elidable to receive.

We’re here to support you during this challenging time as we believe in personalized care plans and a concierge approach to patient care. 

Please call or email us at (480) 998-0668 or [email protected] to see what other patients’ families say about our services as we are very proud of our 5 star google reviews.  We will provide insight over phone from our Healthcare Advisor or will plan a time that works for you to meet with the patient and their family.  We are here for you!

You can also see videos of the Hospice process and meet our team on our YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/@royalhospice.

Our company is a proud member of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO), supporting ethical, high-quality end-of-life care.

Our company is ACHC Accredited, an honor granted by the Accreditation Commission for Health Care (ACHC), which recognizes organizations that exceed care standards. The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) only grants its coveted deeming authority designation to select national accreditation organizations that consistently exceed expectations. 

Whether your loved one needs assistance only a few hours a week or around-the-clock, our team is happy to help! Call (480) 998-0668 to learn more about the transition care services offered through ComForCare Home Care (Scottsdale, AZ).